Why reach when you could be using The Amazing Betelgeusian Army Hand?
Yes, now the latest in intergalactic technology has brought you an alternative to ordinary hands with a measly ten unspecialized fingers! Now you can be the proud owner of a genuine Betelgeuisan Army Hand! Using the latest in military technology from the planet Betelgeuse, your paws can become multipurpose utility extensions, suitable for thousands of everyday chores! Available options include:
--Screwdriver (Flatblade, Philips AND Xorbeld fitting)
--Cheese grater (industrial use ONLY)
--Salt and seasoning shaker
--Miniature ventriloquist's dummy
--Ball point pen
--X-Ray scatter detector
--and many more!!
Yes, this amazing appendage can be yours for only 149.95 gorbacks, from the fine people at Planet Betelgeuse Consumer Technologies!! Don't delay! Order yours today!
Betelgeusian Army Hand is not available on all planets, and subject to local restrictions. Your Betelgeusian Army Hand may differ from content package. Cost of the Betelgeusian Army Hand does not include the cost of surgical implantation, medical recovery expenses, or indemnification insurance. Planet Betelgeuse Consumer Technologies is not responsible for any damage inflicted by the Betelgeusian Army Hand once installed on a recipient, including damage inflicted upon the recipient him, her or itself. Betelgeusian Army Hand is shipped C.O.D. All sales are final. This offer void on Antares.